I’m almost completely positive that my children are plotting against my sanity today. Whining. Fighting. Selective hearing. A dog got hit in the face with a stuffed otter. I was the victim of a biting incident. I may have threatened to sell all of my kid’s toys in a garage sale.

And the worst part of all is that the chocolate cake I would normally stuff my face with on a never-ending, my kids are winning, how can bedtime still be so many hours away, kind of day… is gone. It’s a serious tragedy. I ate the last piece, and licked the plate, in bed last night and I don’t have the ingredients to make another.

So, instead of eating my emotions, which is totally okay because this gorgeous piece of culinary heaven, is grain free, refined sugar-free, and can easily be made dairy free if you use coconut oil instead of  grass fed butter, I thought I would share my favorite dessert recipe with you. You can mix it all up in one bowl. And every single person who eats food will love it. Unless they hate chocolate. Like my weird husband. But everyone else will adore you for making this. I promise.

(I adapted this cake from a yummy recipe I found here.)

The Only Chocolate Cake That Matters 

makes two 9″ round cake layers

Cake Ingredients

• 1/2 cup cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup almond flour
• 1/4 cup coconut flour
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp cream of tartar
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 8 eggs
• 1/2 cup maple syrup
• 2 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup grass fed butter softened or melted (or melted coconut oil if you want to make the cake dairy free)
• pinch of sea salt

Frosting Ingredients

• 1 cup organic palm shortening
• 2/3 cup maple syrup
• 1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp pure almond extract (optional)
• 1 tablespoon tapioca or arrowroot powder
• 1 tablespoon coconut flour
• pinch of sea salt

Instructions

cake

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees
2. Combine the cocoa, almond flour, coconut flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, cinnamon and sea salt. Stir until evenly mixed.
3. Add the eggs, butter, maple syrup and vanilla.
4. Beat with a hand mixture until the batter is smooth.
5. Grease two 9″ round (or square) cake pans with butter or coconut oil. Then line the bottom of the pans with parchment paper.
6. Evenly distribute the batter between the two pans.
7. Bake the cake at 325 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean and your kitchen smells like a chocolate dream.
8. Allow the cakes to cool completely before removing from pans and adding frosting.

Frosting

1. Put all ingredients into a medium mixing bowl.
2. Beat with hand mixer on medium high until fully combined and creamy, be careful not to over mix.

Putting it all together

1. Place one layer of cake on a serving dish.
2. Add a generous layer of frosting to the top and spread evenly.
3. Place second layer of cake on top of frosting.
4. Frost the top and sides of the cake.
5. Finish by sprinkling the cake with cinnamon, and if you’re feeling crazy, some coconut sugar.
6. Serve immediately or store in the fridge. If the cake is refrigerated be sure to remove  from the fridge 20-30 minutes before serving as the frosting does harden in the cold but will soften up quickly at room temperature.

Oh and if you’re feeling crazy, add some raspberries. Because the only thing better than chocolate is chocolate with raspberries, am I right?

Are you hungry yet? Go ahead, get baking. Use this cake for a birthday party or a potluck dish (do potlucks still happen?) or as a coping mechanism. It’s the perfect treat for all occasions. And no, I didn’t ask my threenager to stick his finger into the cake for these photos. It was literally all I could do to keep him from grabbing a handful. But really, who can blame him?